How to Procrastinate Through Life
I am a master procrastinator, an official term coined by Jane Fleischman on February 9, 2018 at exactly 10:40 AM. Procrastinating is a topic that is near and dear to my heart. It defines who I am: a lazy, overworked high schooler with a lack of any time management skills whatsoever. As I write this blog post I am also customizing the theme of my blog to put off writing this, it's that bad. Now if you want to be a quality, efficient student like me follow these simple steps.
Número Uno: Get a good responsible friend who actually writes down the homework
This is key to you're actually turning things in. You're not going to write down the homework, you also might not remember the homework. There also are times when you can't find the homework by some other resource so you need a second option, a hard working friend. More than one is preferable so they don't get annoyed.
Duex: You need to be not terrible at the class
So there are classes that are hard and will be more difficult to get by on not doing anything. Of course this isn't going to stop you, but it's worth knowing a class is hard so you can be (un)prepared for it. Even you, a capable apprentice in this course of putting things off must know when something needs to be done. . . so you can feel guilty when you still put it off to the last minute.
Three (in a heavy southern accent): Stress and deadlines, excellent motivators
Things do need to be turned in, it doesn't work if you don't get good grades. Here's a story: I have to do these things called concept cards for AP GOV. They SUUUUUCCCKKKKK. They're basically graded note cards and they're a total pain. Most peasant procrastinators did them all late the night before like the plebeians they are. I would do most of my concept cards the night before but I would rarely finish them. I would then finish them the lunch before they were due. The closer a deadline is the more pressure you have to do it.
Cuatro: Turn stuff in
I know I just said this, but it should be said again. This one is short, just turn the damn paper in. Do it last minute, but DO it. The irony is I haven't turned this post in.
Quinque: Know your limits:
There is only so much crap you can get done in so much time, the bus ride is only so long. Even me the master of doing 3 pages of math homework in 5 minutes have limits*. You need to know when you have to just do it. Never under-estimate how much homework you're going to have the night of an assignment.
*Oh speaking of math homework: https://www.mathway.com/Algebra (thank me later)
Número Uno: Get a good responsible friend who actually writes down the homework
This is key to you're actually turning things in. You're not going to write down the homework, you also might not remember the homework. There also are times when you can't find the homework by some other resource so you need a second option, a hard working friend. More than one is preferable so they don't get annoyed.
Duex: You need to be not terrible at the class
So there are classes that are hard and will be more difficult to get by on not doing anything. Of course this isn't going to stop you, but it's worth knowing a class is hard so you can be (un)prepared for it. Even you, a capable apprentice in this course of putting things off must know when something needs to be done. . . so you can feel guilty when you still put it off to the last minute.
Three (in a heavy southern accent): Stress and deadlines, excellent motivators
Things do need to be turned in, it doesn't work if you don't get good grades. Here's a story: I have to do these things called concept cards for AP GOV. They SUUUUUCCCKKKKK. They're basically graded note cards and they're a total pain. Most peasant procrastinators did them all late the night before like the plebeians they are. I would do most of my concept cards the night before but I would rarely finish them. I would then finish them the lunch before they were due. The closer a deadline is the more pressure you have to do it.
Cuatro: Turn stuff in
I know I just said this, but it should be said again. This one is short, just turn the damn paper in. Do it last minute, but DO it. The irony is I haven't turned this post in.
Quinque: Know your limits:
There is only so much crap you can get done in so much time, the bus ride is only so long. Even me the master of doing 3 pages of math homework in 5 minutes have limits*. You need to know when you have to just do it. Never under-estimate how much homework you're going to have the night of an assignment.
*Oh speaking of math homework: https://www.mathway.com/Algebra (thank me later)
YAAAASSSSS
ReplyDeleteWhy thank you Hannah
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